nothing like a trip to trg to make me feel like a thousand pound elephant.
actually i was split abt joining back aces since a long time ago..just that whenever a crisis arose and ppl started asking if we cld join back..i only tell them the half of the story that’s not willing. the reason why i stuck to my original decision was because it best fits my situation right now. time-wise, location-wise, lifestyle-wise, parental wishes-wise, haha.
but on the long journey home tonight..i thought of another reason to add to why i shouldn’t join back. maybe im just too fat and heavy for this sport alr. why kid myself that i can slowly lose the weight..the only time i went below 45kg since sec sch days was when i lao sai for one whole night. hahaha. so instead of secretly toying with the idea of returning before the next comp, i shld really cut it out of my head once and for all. maybe im just not suited for this.
now i duno what possessed me to agree to help perform for thurs. if there was a hole, i wld burrow my way into it and hide there forever. i try to say it’s for the money, but actually no, deep down i agreed to all these because i missed it all. but it’s easier to say it’s for the money than to look dumb, saying i miss cheer when im not suited for it anymore.
u noe, it’s like lusting after an ex who thinks you’re not suitable anymore. hahaha. (oh my, i feel so sad for myself laughing after such a pitiful sentence.)
i duno why i missed 402 lect today. like i told char n yogs, i seriously, 100% from the bottom of my heart believed that lect started at 2.30pm, even though it actually starts at 12.30pm and i’ve been gg for every single lect since day 1. i just dun understand how it cld have happened. like my brain just blocked it out. anyway although i laughed along at how silly it was, i felt so upset with myself for missing class, without even wanting to miss class. of all lectures, i had to have mental block and miss the most impt one.
and so today was a bad day. and i need to get up at 6am tml. and if my psych grp member decides to come up with yet another creative excuse why she MIA tomorrow, i swear i will send her hate mail and visit her in my zombie gear after sat’s perf and throw a pig head into her house.
goodnight u cold world.
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hugs babe.. i could tell u were down today when u missed class. i will try to explain whatever i understood if i can okay? chin up, u know u did damn bloody well for mid terms
and its perfectly all right to miss cheer, why u say until u so scared ppl laugh at u like tt. its a passion u found and some people nv ever get to experience the passion u used to feel.. so embrace it lah
dun mope abt it ok?
here’s to our gym sessions.. and u will at least maintain ur weight! so smile!
no lahs i dun tink there is anyone unsuitable for any sport lors..i m sure we all miss cheer!!! and i m also sure the guys will b honoured to stunt w u so dun keep paranoiding away!
omg is it a halloween performance! lol
yup yup halloween thingy. come on down to clark quay sat night!
yes yes. i guess we all do still miss cheer just how much we wanna reveil it to people. you wouldn’t, and couldn’t be more silly than i do to think that i could really catch up on their standards and join them for cheerobics, to join them for trainings feeling so useless and lousy, and then get cut straight in the face. haha.
guess i really miss cheer. but things are just not the same anymore lor. it’s still our passion no matter what ((: be glad we found something once/still so important to us!
hope you enjoyed the performance that day anyways! i do ((: huggs**
qiuyan ((:
okays reveal*
haha silly. actually all 3 of us (plus xl) think the same way ba..deep down if the conditions were right, we still badly want to be part of it all.
i enjoyed the perf:) haha lets all join the recreational team. :p
haha yeah
although we have a different lifestyle now, some part of us is still in aces.
but jia you ok! you know i always see u on wednesday rushing to class, and the feeling is like so good (not cos i see u rushing la). it’s like a metaphorical “return” to the good old days of training seeing you chase us to start training & the endless cycles of it.
i missed u all alot alot:(
p.s:anyway i think it’s normal to feel that way, it’s like some form of escapism. cos i get *secretly* very proud of myself if i manage to convince myself to skip lecture as i was never able to get away from the guilt of doing that.
though lessons are not exactly cheap, so, i guess, expensive thrill, with a big time bonus!
u see me on wednesdays? haha then why nv call me! silly. yeah i agree..once aces always aces..no other team with such a nice and easy name to shout in cheer anyway..hah!
take care girl!