Struggling to stay awake while i read my journal articles for 254 project..don’t you wish you cld stop time to rest n relax a while..oh well, at least the topic i’m reading is still bearable. Would be bored into a coma if it was anything less stimulating.
The hyperpersonal communication theory has been coming up in the journal articles..and at first i just thought the theory only describes how we can communicate more ‘effectively’ in mediated environments compared to face-to-face. After reading my 4th article, i realised that it actually theorizes that hyperpersonal communication may cause people to develop idealistic or unrealistic images of their relational partners due to the lack of non-verbal cues.
Hmm. Interesting. I never thought online communication could make people form unrealistic perceptions of other ppl they’re talking to. Maybe that’s how Daniel and I started liking each other. Haha..it was a very quick start to a mutual liking..maybe because we started talking on msn, we formed idealistic and unrealistic images of each other..(plus we both happened to be easy-going ppl) and it seemed natural to develop a liking. And then somehow for the next 5 yrs, nothing big enough happened to rock the boat. That explanation makes me feel better, because it convinces me that relationships aren’t all that sacred after all. He once said it’s cruel to dissect the relationship like that. I don’t know what’s more cruel, reducing a relationship to its bare elements, or piling on needless defences on myself. Ahhh. Nobody knows. And the answer doesn’t even matter. Just like how there’s no winner or loser when a relationship ends. We both just end up broken, lost people. But that’s not the end, it’s just the beginning of the tumble. In the pain there is healing, according to Lifehouse. Haha..and then one day you will get better, and you look back and laugh at the times you thought you cldn’t go on anymore. (according to marcus.) I named this blog its name because thats how i consoled myself, that everything happens for a reason, every fall is an opportunity to stand up even stronger. well, i guess marcus was right. people DO get better..maybe better at controlling our tears, maybe better at hiding our pain, maybe better at consoling ourselves..
My scar on my elbow is getting more n more faint. i kinda don’t want it to go away..since i got it during a rather eventful time in my life. haha..like a symbol of the entire breakup-iwanttodie-ihateeverybody-everybodyhatesme-ihatethetwoofthem-ihatemyselfthemost process.
What a digression. hahah..back to articles and hyperpersonal comm..maybe i shld have taken some boring engineering course..doubt physics and maths can induce deep thoughts like that.